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Look your #1 Fear in the Eye and Kick it's BUTT!

They say the #1 fear in the real world is public speaking.  People feel inadequate, judged, exposed and naked, which is understandable.  What about the number one fear in the virtual reality world?

When it comes to virtual reality, I’m talking about the Internet and I venture to say that online dating takes the cheese.  In my opinion, creating an online dating profile is the #1 fear because your exposed to the same emotions you get from public speaking.  How will you be judged?  What should you say? How should you say it?  What will people think?

The fear of creating a dating profile online is normal.  Who wants to put themselves in a position to feel inadequate, judged exposed or naked?  Nobody.  This fear has translated in to some ghastly real life profiles that should have never seen the light of day.  The good news is that you bad profile criminals are not alone and with a little help and direction, your golden profile is just around the corner.  Creating a dating profile shouldn’t be scary.  After all, you’re writing about yourself and who knows the snazzy cool things about you, better than you?  Writing a profile should be enjoyable and entertaining.  It‘s fun to talk about yourself on your own personal page!

There are varying styles for writing a good online dating profile, and I will touch upon four.  Choose which ones work for you when you write yours, just remember, the objective for your profile is to give a well rounded view of who you are to any potential reader.  Your online profile is your personality resume.

1) The analytical approach:
These people are factual, to the point, and often give a well rounded view of their personality through objective facts.  These people say things like, “Instead of telling you about myself, I’m going to tell you about the things I like so you can get an idea about who I am.”  These people then proceed to talk about their favorite movies, their favorite books, favorite colors, quotes, hobbies etc.  I like to call this the “Facebook approach” as opposed to the analytical approach because if you click on the info tab on someone’s social face book profile, you get a well rounded factual view of their personality.

2) The driver approach:
These people are the best at bragging.  You know how you highlight the best attributes from your professional life in a resume?  In your resume, you are professionally bragging.  Creating a dating profile using the driver approach is just like a professional resume, except for your personality.  Talk about the things that drive you.  Talk about your passions, your life accomplishments and things that you’re proud of.  If you still don’t know what to say, think about your parents bragging about you to other parents.  What do they say?  Were you always a straight A student?  Are you the best sports player on your team?  Lament how your parents bragged about you, then highlight the things you’re personally proud of, and pretty soon, you’ll have a driver type profile.

3) The expressive approach:
Think relationship.  In the expressive approach, talk about your outward personality and your relationship style.  Not your “loving” relationship style, but your “friend” relationship style.  Are you always fun and outgoing looking for the next fun thing to do with your friends?  Or are you laid back, relaxed and casual?  In the expressive approach you talk about your emotions, habits and situational personality.  A fun way to answer in this approach is to ask then answer your own hypothetical questions.  For example:  If someone at a bar spilled a drink on me I would: XYZ.  Another example is: If I found out my best friend cheated on her boyfriend with my brother I would: ABC.  You’ll be surprised how these answers will vary from person to person.  Be honest, and have fun. Ask yourself tough and fun questions.

4) The Amiable approach:
If you take the amiable approach, you talk about the “love” aspect of relationships and how you are in those relationships.  Are you an agreeable person? Supportive? High maintenance?  Do you like long walks on the beach?  I venture to say this approach is the most common online daters use.  People think online dating is all about finding love, so they focus on the “love” and relationship aspect of finding a partner instead of profiling their overall personality.  This is not a bad thing if you have a match that is amiable with you too, so go ahead and use this approach if you wish.  To help you, think about past relationships you’ve been in and what you liked or didn’t like about them?  What do you think makes you a good girlfriend or boyfriend?  If you get stumped, the best question you can ask yourself to help you create an amicable profile is, “what does my Ex miss about me?”

When writing your profile, choose what works for you and write it well.  Just choose something and write at least a paragraph and be honest.  If you do not write at least write a paragraph you deserved to be placed in a box and locked in a dark room away from the dating public… forever.

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